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Mahdir's avatar

The post resonated with me a lot. It is good that you had this realization rather than later.

One day, we'll all die. When we are on our deathbeds, I wonder, will we have regrets? Will we have family surrounding us? Or will we die alone?

Nobody wants to die alone. So we all make families. It is also best to die without regrets. Given these things and my nihilistic view of the world, I do wonder: what is worth my limited time on this planet?

The answer is different for everyone. Takes a lot of thinking and time to figure out what it is. I've arrived at mine after 5 years:

- I want to take care of my family (parents and find a life partner to start one)

- I want to be connected to my friends and be involved in their lives.

- I want to enjoy nature.

- I want to invest in my health

These things take precedence over everything else. Often in the earlier part of my career, I sacrificed a lot to accomplish something. I found myself often thinking about these things and explained away my thoughts thinking that "oh the promotion you got was worth it" or "you learnt something new" or "you worked with an incredible smart group of people and accomplished something together". I eventually realized, all these things were not what would give me the most satisfaction.

Since then, I've been living my second life. No one is going to remember my code. No one is going to remember an OKR I crushed. But I hope, my friends and family remember the beautiful moments shared with them to remember me after I'm gone. I hope they drink over my casket and share fun stories from my youth.

Working more means less time spent towards these activities. So, I'd rather optimize now for a regret-less death :)

Of course, the only reason I'm able to even think about this is because I am in a position of privilege (engineering job, parents paid for college). None of this would be possible if not for the great help I've had in my life to get me to this point. But.... why waste this opportunity. Most people on earth don't get to have the freedom to choose their life. They simply don't get as lucky as us.

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J. Ray Scott's avatar

Software Engineering Daily is simply the best podcast on the net. Please find a way to keep it going. You're an extraordinary interviewer.

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